I tried to write a blog post, and my self-consciousness ate it.
It said to me, "Self, what are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm trying to write a blog post, because I want to share my thoughts with my friends and family, some of whom are far away, and this is easier than writing a letter to each and every one of them."
It said in reply, "But, Self, then they will be able to read what you are thinking! And then they might not agree! Or they might think it was silly, or stupid, and they would
laugh. And then - they might not want to be
friends with you anymore, and then you would be
all alone."
And I said to It, "Shut up, I can't hear myself think," and wrote the post anyway.
~*~
Intuition is a funny thing. Coming to know, or to understand, something true in a way that transcends words and logical argument is, for me, an experience both delightful and intimidating. Delightful, because intuition nearly always comes in exciting "Aha!" moments: pieces of whatever problem fall exactly into place, the world rights itself, and I suddenly
know exactly what it is that I have been trying to figure out. The intimidating part comes afterwards, when I realize how difficult it will be to talk about what I've intuited. How do you translate everything that was concentrated in that single moment of "Oh, I get it!" into some sort of statement that makes sense? It's a darned difficult task.
Approaching the last semester of my senior year of college, the difficulty of this problem has never loomed quite so large as it does now. The art I'm working on for my thesis exhibition stems, as most art does, from my intuitions. It follows, from what I've written above, that talking to others about my art is a devilishly tricky business. And therein lies the problem: I need to be able to talk about this work in a coherent fashion, otherwise it becomes something that only I understand, something that I can't share with other people because I can't communicate what
it is that I want to share.
Currently, I can kinda-sorta-maybe-sometimes articulate what I'm trying to achieve in my thesis, and that's promising. On the other hand, I need to be able to turn kinda-sorta-maybe-sometimes into "Yes, I can tell you what the concept is behind my work. I can tell you why I did this. Here it is."
That's where this blog comes in: I hope that by making myself a space where I can write out my thoughts (and hopefully get feedback on them) will help me to become more articulate about my work. In writing out what I'm thinking, I have to give a more concrete structure to my (admittedly nebulous) perceptions, and by getting feedback from people who are not me, I find out whether what I'm thinking actually makes sense. Hurrah!
That's the plan, anyway, and God only knows how it'll turn out. I appreciate comments from any and all who have wandered here; you're always welcome in my little corner of the internet.
